where to go with this??

first off, the pictures below are irrelevant to the blog. had to use this site to host posting pictures on another site.
Disregard-

Back to me:
Hand specialist yesterday due to what I now call "patio hand". I'm sure that term will me a new entry into medical textbooks.
Here's the diagnosis, followed by a side of surgery: "advanced carpal tunnel syndrome"

Many thoughts about this, I can barely get my head together, but I'll try here. Here's the top ten list of why this is so wrong:

10. That I didn't stop when I was in so much pain building a retaining wall and then a patio
9. The way I was brought up, our message we heard was always to "just do it" or "push through the pain" It's always been that way in our family- Yes, this comment smacks of blaming it all on the parents, and we're a hard working people, but I'm just tossing it out there. I'm so this way.
8.If we'd just hired someone to do it, they'd be having surgery not me
7. I'll never, ever take on a project like this again. Ever.
6. This throws a real wrench into my tight painting schedule for Napa Valley Open studios event. I absolutely won't cancel it, but I'm feeling a bit challenged right now on how to accomplish some of the goals I have.
5. the world is not set up for a mom with a toddler to be dragging him into medical appointments: 8 follow up physical therapy appointments post surgery. Are they kidding?
4. Now realizing what dead weight my other hand is. When I'm practicing getting used to using it for a while, all I can think is,
"what the hell have you been doing my whole life, just hanging there??" I need to work on getting lefty into fighting shape.
3. I'm seriously thinking about teaching myself to write and paint left handed
2. I can't wait to see what my left hand can paint. Oh boy
1. What a shame: a very preventable injury, but I had to learn the hard way